.011 – Learning to Breathe

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Life has been undeniably intense of late. We’re moving – in with my parents, of all things – and though all the parties involved are being accommodating and wonderful there’s a little spider of stress running up and down my spine and making it harder to breath. My work schedule has moved around so that I have a lot of daytime hours free, but this has somehow left me more muddled than I was when I was working.

So it goes.

It’s because of that, I think, that I’ve been giving the blog so much attention. But, is too much attention a bad thing? There are so many things I’d like to be doing with it. So many directions I’d like to go. A part of me wants to push-push-push and make everything move so much faster, which would be impossible. The blog is still an infant that could grow into anything. The only definite is time.

I have a few more Farm Stories to write and take pictures for, and recipes have come pouring out of my brain like water. I’m forced to try and catch them all, to no avail, which leaves me a little bit frantic. There’s hake, swiss chard, sorrel, scallions, micro greens, lard, three types of eggs, lots of cheese and milk vying for my attention in the refrigerator. I don’t have enough time to love them all, though I feel like I should

Last night I went to the Seaport Fish Market, dead set on buying soft shelled crabs and cooking them for another update. I was going to serve them with a bright sorrel and micro green salad and maybe some purple potatoes. But when I saw them they were just too sweet and so much tinier than I had imagined in my head. It hit me that I’d need to cut off their eyes and mouth before I could prepare them. They were all folded up on each other – they looked like little monks deep in prayer. The crabs were tiny and calm and I lost all my steam.

I left the market with a pound of hake and the knowledge that I would not be cooking that fish last night. Instead I would be eating a hummus salad and allowing myself to breathe. When there’s so much going on you can forget why you’re doing anything at all. It’s dangerous to move for movements sake.

Sometimes cooking is taxing. There can be a lot of thought required. Like running that sort of mental work out can feel very good. Or it can feel very bad.

This blog’s main purpose is to keep me inspired and on track as a local food consumer. I hope that it inspires some other people as well, but if it doesn’t I know I did what I needed to do for myself. It shouldn’t be a personal marathon of food. Food is meant to be enjoyed, shared, and loved. For people like me food is love. Even when it’s just a salad with hummus.

And let’s face it – there’s no such thing as just a salad with hummus.

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